Trouble in The Office

Para Kay Rosa/ For Rose

Three Fridays ago, we held a farewell party for 7 marketing associates leaving the company. They're the last batch of casualties from the delayering. I wrote the poems below for Rose, the Product Line Control Manager. The IT support guy in our team performed the Balagtas-slash-Tagalog version, while I did the Bronx-slash-English version. We had to do a translation because we had a couple of Brits and a Malaysian in the audience. The poems are mostly private jokes -- I'm afraid you won't find it funny . . . Anyway...

This was my first poetry reading ever, and it was a blast! And I was a hit! Hahaha! I felt like Alicia Keys flippin' her tight braids in a dance sequence. Wished they had on video. Sayang. They enjoyed and laughed throughout the whole performance, with IT guy and me alternating between verses. Most importantly, Rose felt really loved and special. After that, we all sang Paper Roses for her on the Videoke. :-)


PARA KAY ROSE – ANG GANDA NG LOLA KO

Ang Lola ko ay si Rose
Pero di nya aaminin
Dahil kahit na retired na sya
Matindi pa rin ang asim
Ang fasyon nya ay uso
Ang buhok, laging nasa moda
Pagdating sa opisina
Akala mo, umeeksena.

Pero simple lang ang lola ko
Kahit Beyonce sya gumiliw
Ang mga high heels at flipflops?
Natawaran nya sa Liliw.
Yosi nya ay pangmasa
Marlboro ang brand nya
With stress, this is how she’d cope
“I go down and have a smoke!”

Luv namin ang aming Lola
Umiinit man ang ulo nya
Clearance Sale bukas? Or PPC?
Obsolescence? “God Save the Baby!!”
IDF wala na naman?
Triple Treat walang laman?
Crazy Ninety-nine maraming nagagalit?
Pinatay ang aircon? “Shet talaga, ang inet!”

Makulay ang planning dahil sa kanya
Kami’y mga anak na kanyang mga ulila
Itangi mo kami, mahal namin kayo ---
Rosa …Bacilisa… Del Rosario.


FOR ROSE – MY GRANMATHA IS SLAMMIN’

My grandmatha’s Rose
But she ain’t nevah gonna admit it
Though she’s gone to the hoe
She still likes to get jiggy widit
Her fashion’s Project Runway
Her do, sublime
When she gets to the office
Girl! Her presence is Dee--vine!

But my granmatha’s simple
Though Bootiliciooussss to the core
Her stilettos and flipflops
She purchased at the Liliw sto’e.
Her joints are ordinary
Marlboro’s what she likes to carry
Para maka-cope sa kanyang mga stress
“Yosi sa mezzanine kapag alas-tres!”

We feel you, grandmatha,
Even when you blow your top
Clearance Sale tomorrow? Or PPC
Obsolescence? “God Save the Baby?”
IDF nada?
Triple Treat zilch?
Crazy Ninety-nine got ‘em bitching?
Turned off the aircon? “It’s mo#@?f*ng hot in here!”

Our lives like bling bling because of you
We’re kids orphaned without you
Remember us, we love you
Rosa … Bacilisa.. Del Rosari-you.

posted by Elyss @ 2:50 PM